Weirdness and Messianic Judaism


Weirdness.

I mean, weirdness.

In my brief time in the Messianic movement, before I got saved and started attending a church, I saw a lot of weirdness.

People who not only refused to pay tithe, but also wrote letters to the government opting out of taxes. Uh.. it doesn’t work that way. And… doesn’t the Bible say we should pay our taxes?

There’s the number of men who refuse to get a job. They get their nice yarmulke and tallis – I don’t know how, without a job, because Jewish stuff is EXPENSIVE. But they seem to find excuses why they can’t have a job.

You’ve got the “Davidic Dance” troop.

You’ve got the communists. REALLY???? I kid you not, I kicked into ultra-sarcasm the first time someone mentioned “proletariat” to me. “Nu? So, when you say everyone should have everything in common, aren’t you saying you want to be the rich one without working for it?”

There’s the loud, obnoxious ones who say “I think that anyone who wants to stand up and say whatever they want during service should be able to.” My response – “Aren’t you saying you think YOU should be able to interrupt the service at will and nobody else?”

There’s the “Rabbi’s” who feel the incessant need to re-invent Judaism. Like, making tsitsis that aren’t attached to a tallis (uh, the Bible says tsitsis should be on a tallis – isn’t your way violating the Torah?), and then selling them at a profit so that people can loop them on the belt loops of their pants…

…or the mezuzot that are printed off on a laser printer and then slid inside plastic sleeves, and nailed to the door posts…

Or the homemade tallisim made out colorful rayon with glued on crudely cut Hebrew letters….

There’s the people that sell the bundle packs of vitamins that are supposed to cure non-existent illnesses that you never seemed to suffer from until you met these people…

The weird “If you’re a gentile, because of Ephraim and Manasseh, you’re now really a Jew, and the real Jews have to serve you in the coming kingdom…” Messianic Israel Two House Two Stick Wooten Replacement Theology madness….

There’s the people that live in their vans and drive from city to city, looking for someone to sponge off of – I mean, latch onto…

The people who have not one drop of Jewish blood in them, but as soon as they join a Messianic synagogue, they start imagining they’re Jewish. Well, I guess that’s okay. I visited a Messianic Jewish synagogue once, and found myself wishing I was Gentile!

There’s the people who have to try – after two months of reading a book or two on Hebrew – decide how Hebrew should be pronounced. “Yeah, you Jews have had it wrong for thousands of years! But thanks to my reading a Hebrew textbook for 7 weeks, I am now prepared to tell you how to pronounce your Hebrew!”

There’s the people who come in who are obviously descended from other groups of people, who tell you with a straight face that today’s Jews come from the Khazars and really aren’t Jewish at all… but somehow their people are the REAL Jews, despite coming from a different continent. “But… aren’t you Korean????” “Let’s get past that!!!” “So… when my relatives were being loaded into ovens at Birkenau and Dachau, where were you? I didn’t see your family pushing to take their places in line and saying, ‘let them go, we’re the real Jews!” “Let’s get past that!!!”

Weirdness.

Man, it almost sounds as nutty as a Baptist church! It’s just the Deacon who believes that Texas should secede from the Union doesn’t have a blog saying that if you don’t agree with him, you’re going to Hell.

But it’s easy to find the weirdness in the Messy Antics, who insist that if you don’t do EVERYTHING exactly the same as they do, you’re going to Hell.

Messianic Judaism is… a cult. If you’re in it, you need to get OUT of it!

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