Get out of the attic!

I guess this shows how long it’s been since I had a TV, but the information here can save lives. Near the end is the information on how to get out of an attic. This is life saving information right now. If you have a boat and can help people caught in the path of Florence, please help – there are people trapped in attics right now.

Bring tools and your boat. Blankets, warm liquids in thermoses for after you get them out.  This is not the time to be idle! Help people before they die.


More Hurricane Readiness tips

Update 2018: Part of the US is expecting a Category 4, which is not quite as bad as a category 5 – but remember people die in category 1 hurricanes. Be safe. Turn around, don’t drown.

Okay, let’s look at it in a logical, calm way.

If you live where a category 5 hurricane is headed directly at… you need to leave yesterday. If not, be sure to take a black permanent marker and write your social security number on your forearm. That way the police can identify you, and notify next of kin.

Category 5 hurricanes are total devastation. Yeah, we’ve seen buildings survive, but… what if the one you’re in starts coming apart? Debris being flung at 185 miles an hour is like running across the field during an archery match.

Okay, here’s what to expect. Wind. Rain. Power will go out. Do you have candles, flashlights? A big box of Shabbes candles will last you a few days. Remember to leave SAFE DISTANCE between the candle and anything around it.  A neighbor of mine learned the hard way that a candle will set a glass windowpane on fire. She lost everything she owned in the fire – after passing through a hurricane unscathed.

you need to have water prepared and ready. Fill every sealable container with water. Keep them in the fridge for now. Hours before the hurricane hits, TURN YOUR FRIDGE UP AS HIGH AS IT WILL GO!

And yes, if you have any frozen unbreaded fish in the freezer, you can cook it with lemon juice. No heat required. Just dump the thawing fish into a sauce pan, pour lemon juice on it, cover, sit. In 6 hours it will be fully cooked.

If the roof comes off the house, do not go into a basement (if you have one) to avoid the storm! Flash floods mean death, long before you can reach safety. Flash floods means that if you see an inch of rainwater in the driveway, the water will be high enough to choke out your car by the time you back out of the driveway.

Imagine being in a basement with GALLONS of water rushing down steps!

Safety, Safety, Safety!!!!

If you have doubt… then there’s no doubt. If you live in Florida, and you’re reading this tonight, turn off the computer, get in the car, and leave right now. Finish this tomorrow night somewhere in Tennessee!

UPDATE 9/8/17 – It seems the storm is making a beeline for Tennessee… run somewhere else!

Florida is in bad shape to evacuate from… there’s only two major highways out of the state. You almost could make better time getting in a boat tonight and motoring it out of the harbor tonight!

I’m working on my surviving the tribulation web site right now… remember to print out pages right now so you know what to stock up on, what to buy. Why are people buying bottled water at vast sums of money, when you can buy soda bottles, wash them, fill them with tap water, and store them?

Don’t forget, if you have a bathtub… fill it with water before the hurricane gets there. That’s going to be flush water.

Update 9/8/17 – fill plastic sandwich bags with ice cubes, and keep doing it. Saves you money on buying bags of ice, and keeps your freezer stuff chilled.

And pray for everyone in the storm’s path.

Churches Explained – How to Start a church 4

Everyone’s probably having nightmares right now that you’ll see 30 parts of this series. This is probably the last one.

And according to Baptist Briders, this is the ONLY way to start a church.

A pastor leaves Seminary, and starts researching. Where is there an area where there is no Fundamentalist church of like faith and practice?

you can add whatever other conditions there are to you. I know of one who added “and has a Wal-Mart” to his search. If you’re a hospital worker, you can choose “And has a Sentara network hospital” or whatever. Maybe you work for NASA and need to stay within 20 minutes of a NASA facility.

Whatever the case may be.

You decide, do the work, get your job changed, obtain housing, and relocate.

You set up a space in the living room, basement (if finished) or Garage.

Church in place.

Set up ads. Use social media. Alas, too many people are addicted to social media, and walk around with eyes glued to their phones. BTW, do you know how many people have told me over the last month how I can set up my Android to do this or that? The conversation really ended with, “I don’t use my phone to go on the internet.” It’s like people hear that, and it’s like a square peg in a round hole. They don’t accept that at ALL! I mean, I have a fitbit tracker, text and call, and a weather program (I hate the word app, BTW). And I take pictures of my cats a lot.

That’s it.


It’s a matter of getting a church web site (you can use Faithlife Sites to set up your church website – you can even have a virtual church, through Faithlife Sermons, Proclaim, Faithlife account, and Faithlife Giving!).

Now, you can set up door to door campaigns. Kind of risky, in this day and age. But you can walk through a neighborhood EARLY on the weekend, and use door hangers. That would be my way.

Another way is simply find a community market, order a lot of King James Bibles, get a stamp made with your church info or get lots of little color cards made and place them in the Bibles. Then set up and give away! You’re going to be there a while and get hungry, so consider giving away food and drink.

See if the local library has rooms you can book. Often, you can give free seminars on the Christian faith, doing apologetics, why coffee should be free, etc. David Cloud has a free book with a MILLION ideas in it (or at least twenty). What’s your big thing? mine was the seminars, door hangers and free Bibles.

Understand this – putting folding chairs in your garage and sitting there every Sunday morning doesn’t get people in pews. Advertising does.

Now,don’t take a page out of my book! Don’t go on monster rants! It’s time to move into positive. “We stand for the King James Bible.” You can teach later why, just accentuate the positive!

ENCOURAGE Christians to be Fundamentalists!

Have an answer for, “Tell me why I should join your church.”

Ready… GO!!!

Churches Explained – How to Start a Church 3

House Church model.

Here’s where a lot of controversy is.

You can only start a Biblical church once a certain number of families start attending. The Bible says that a Pastor must be paid, and those that preach well are worthy of double pay. So, unless you have three families willing to pay $125 a week, three families can’t afford a church. Bi-vocational pastoring is okay the first three years if a Pastor is young and able to take the pace of working a full time job AND pastoring a church. If the Pastor is over 45, you’re running a risk of killing a pastor from heart attack or falling asleep behind the wheel by asking him to take on that kind of role for three years.

Pastors must be paid. The Bible is specific on that.

So, can you fit ten families in your house? Then you can do a house church.

A house church of one family is not Biblical.

Now, I’m going to make a statement here equally controversial. The American economy has changed. Twenty years ago you could save up, quit a job, relocate, and get a job with no problems.

you can’t do that anymore.

So what happens if all the churches in your immediate area go bad? This isn’t really addressed in the Bible, but we know that evil will wax worse and worse. The Lord even asked if He would find faith on the Earth. As Christianity spirals faster down the drain, I’m asking that question myself.

David Cloud says, if there’s no good church in your area, then move.

That may not be feasible in America right now. You could lose everything. so your family worshiping by itself may be your only option right now. A House church may be your only option right now. But it’s temporary, and not a permanent situation.

Start looking for like-minded believers. Start to put together a church. If you can’t find enough believers, then the Lord hasn’t commissioned that church.

now, I’m aware that there’s a movement that says the father in a family is the pastor. I can’t find that in the Bible at all. Indeed, that means anyone who can father a child can be a pastor, and if you cant have children you can’t be a pastor. That’s not in the bible either. Flee cultish teachings, like Michael and Debbie Pearl.

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about the last method to start a church.

Churches Explained – How to Start a Church pt. 2

Yesterday we spent a lot of time discussing absolutely nothing to do with starting a church – so let’s get down to it.

one of my first real rants was on the issue of church planting, so let’s look at how to do it.

Christian Fellowship model

This model is simple enough. Three Christian families begin fellowshipping together. They pray about it after a while, and the decision becomes, “Let’s start a church.” It’s better to seek out at least two or three more families, because we’re going to discuss the interim problem.

Once the church meeting becomes large enough, you have parking problems, and room problems. How to fit six families (with the average family size of 1.5 children? leaving you with 18 bodies in one tight space. Kids tend to run around in houses. They have a problem sitting still, but if you tell them “this is a church”, they calm down a little. If it’s “Bob’s house, but right now it’s church time”, the kids won’t understand, and they’ll run around and RAAAARRRRRR!!!!!

There’s a financial drain involved with getting a church started. Look at community buildings, and explore the option of starting a church service. Unfortunately, the trend of apartment complexes to have a community building available to all tenants never really caught on in America.

Other than that, it becomes a model of “spread the word, get like-minded believers” together. You’re encouraged to take my statement of faith and print it out as your church statement of faith (I’m kind of proud of it!). This way you know you’re all doctrinally based.

The final step really requires looking for a Pastor and a building. Here’s the questions – does the church tithe? If not, forget it. You can’t do it. The church needs to bring in enough cash to afford a building and associated costs, and a pastor (and associated costs).

Can someone in the church serve as pastor? The answer is yes, IF….

  1. They are called by God and confirmed by the church to possess that gift.
  2. The church agrees that they possess the calling, as evidenced by their interest in it long before this and the pastor’s habit of doing pastor-ly things (like trying to teach and preach all the time)
  3. They have studied to shew themselves approved. This is often the dividing line. Do you study the Bible? Do you wish you had MORE time to study the Bible? If I gave you 90 minutes a day to research and study the Bible, would you?
  4. They are trained by entering, attending and passing a seminary.

So, if you’re picking Bob because its his house, and he seems to be okay at teaching – but he’s never been to seminary – BUZZ. wrong answer.

Bob will have been DRIVEN to seek out and attend a Seminary. If finances permit, he’ll have paid to attend and graduate one. If not, then he’ll have sought a free Bible college or Seminary, attended, and graduated.

There are websites around that list “Pastor wanted” postings. Trust me, I’ve prayed to be called as a Pastor and done a lot of research on this. Alas, my answer from the Lord seems to be “no”.

Put up a listing and spread the word.

More on Thursday!

Churches Explained – How to Start a Church

How do you start a church?

this is just as political as yesterday. According to Baptist Briders, there’s only one way. Landmark Baptists who are not Baptist Briders tend to differ on this.

According to a chain-link successionalist Baptist Brider, the only way you can start a church is if you have the authority to start one. You have to have been baptized by someone who is of the chain-link succession – in other words, they have to have been baptized by a descendant of the church at Jerusalem.

Is it possible to track this down? Almost. If you can find someone who was descended from the first Welsch church. Claudia and Pudens apparently were baptized by an “Authorized” church, and they returned to Wales to start a church there.

Now, track that church through history. It’s just about impossible. Roger Williams and John Clarke started the first two Baptist churches in America – Clarke was first, starting the First Baptist church of Newport, and Williams second in Providence. Funny how everyone gets that backwards. I grew up right around the corner from the oldest church in America, and the date is right on a stone in front of the property. And no kidding, it’s down the street and around the corner from the first Synagogue in America.

Some Briders don’t accept Roger Williams Baptism, because it wasn’t done with authority. He was baptized by someone he baptized. Clarke presents problems for other Briders, because he was a semi-Calvinist (something new in Baptists). The third Baptist church in America was Swansea, Mass – and it’s kind of a touchstone for Briders. They try to be baptized by someone from Swansea, because it’s been continuously running since its inception (so has the Newport church, but they gloss over that).

Head spinning yet? If this concerns you, you’ll need to research it elsewhere. I’m a quasi-Landmarkist IFB, but I’m not a Baptist Brider or a Chain-link successionist by any sense.

My position is doctrinal succession. If a Pentecostal church tomorrow were to wake up and say, “Hey… we’re doing things that aren’t Biblcai” and adopted Baptist doctrine and polity, would they be a real church? Briders say no.

Landmark Baptists tend towards “yes”, but they’re divided on the issue.

I say yes.

A real church can be started in any way – it just needs Christians, proper doctrine, and proper polity.

More tomorrow!

Churches Explained – What is “Polity”?

What is polity?
Polity is kind of what it sounds like – politics.

That got everyone who’s in ministry to laugh.

Polity is the church governing structure.

Protestant and Catholic churches have what’s called a “clergy/Laity” polity – there is a division in the class between the people in the pew and the pulpit. The Reverend/Priest/Father/etc. serves as Christ’s replacement while the Lord is away.

Baptists have a “pastoral” polity – there is no division between pulpit and pew. The pastor serves as Christ’s steward on earth, overseeing the church for the Lord while He is away.

Protestant and Catholic polity is further divided into groups. There is the clergy overseeing that church body, there is a over-clergy who watches over them (“Bishop” is the usual term), and they report to higher authorities, sometimes geographical (city, state, nation, hemisphere, world, and the head of that organization, such as Pope).

Among Protestants, there’s sometimes a over-laity just as there’s an over-clergy. This is the presbyers, or elders. Most Calvinist churches have boards of “elders” who represent the congregation.

I’ve used quote marks around certain terms, as Biblically Elder, Pastor, Bishop are all synonymous terms for the same office. There’s no Biblical support for a prebytery or “board of elders”.

Before Baptists can be smug, allow me to make the same statement about Deacon Boards overseeing pastors. It’s not Biblical, and it has a great deal of potential issues concerning the Believer’s judgment. What is the head of a Southern Baptist Deacon Board going to say to the Lord when the Lord asks pointed questions about an unBiblical “deacon board ordering pastors to do something/not do something” situation? Deacons are servants of the church, and not an appointed group to oversee a pastor.

So, how is Church polity supposed to be, Biblically?

“And when they were come to Jerusalem, they were received of the church, and of the apostles and elders, and they declared all things that God had done with them.” (Acts 15:4, KJV)

Church – Apostle – Elder.

To understand the designation Apostle, we need to know that it is the Greek counterpart to “shluchim” or “Shaliach” in Hebrew, meaning “sent one”. To be an Apostle, one has to be personally trained and sent by the Lord Jesus Christ. This doesn’t mean by Bible reading and studying in your apartment or home office – this means walking physically with Jesus Christ, living with Him day to Day, and finally being Commissioned and sent by Him.

Since the Ascension of Jesus Christ into Heaven at the beginning of Acts, it is impossible to be an Apostle. The only Exception was Paul, and Paul spent years in the Arabian desert with Jesus Christ, learning. Why? I can guess, but let’s leave that one to “we’ll ask Him when we see Him face to face.”
Further study of the epistles show us that Apostles plant churches, train up pastors, and move on, serving only as a guide for churches. Only if things went drastically wrong with a church doctrinally did any Apostle interfere, and it seems to be limited to Corinth and Galatia.

Since the office of Apostle is gone (limited to the twelve and Paul), there’s no replacement for it today. With no apologies to the hordes of Pentecostal pastors who’ve ordained themselves as “apostle” ever since Fred Price did it first – you’re not apostles. You can’t be.

So, the polity of the church Biblically is limited to Pastor/Elder/Bishop (technically, Bishop is the most common Biblical term), and congregation. The pastor is not “clergy”, a different class of Christian, but rather, a Christian (at least, one hopes). The congregation is not “laity”, a lower class of Christian, but Christians (again, one hopes). Deacons are part of the congregation.

See why I say Polity is the same as “politics”? Everyone who’s not an Independent Baptist is pretty much offended by everything I just wrote!