Signs And Wonders


I was watching the Strange Fire conference this week, trying vainly to get caught up on my Master’s Thesisesises. One of the video clips defied explaination.

A church in California had a film of gold dust flying up from the floor to the ceiling, as everyone in the church cheered frantically.

That’s going to require some explanation. I’m going to teach you all how to do a little “magic” as we do this. Really, it’s special effects. I got interested in this when I was a kid because I found a book on Harry Houdini, one of the more famous Jews of the 20th century. Any famous Jew was cause for interest, obviously! I used to know the name of the world’s strongest man, a Jewish man who’d studied leverage, and was able to lift thousands of pounds by using only his own weight. He started it as a boy in the Synagogue, hearing the story of Samson, and wanting to be Samson, he braced himself against a wall, and lifted the synagogue off its foundations.

He wasn’t a big man by any stretch of the imagination.

Not everything is what it looks like.

Okay, let’s say your theology is that we’re gods. And God is like daddy God, who made us all to be little gods, or “demi-gods” is the official designation, yet none of the adherents of this philosophy have really looked it up to see what its called.

Well, if you’re a god, you can’t be sick, right? You’re a god! The power of creation is in your mouth! God wants you well! And if you’re a god, well, you’ve got to have blessings! What’s a blessing?

Um… wealth! So send me a faith seed of five thousand dollars, and you’ll get your miracle breakthrough today! Etc.

That’s what they teach. Don’t sent me any money. Give it to your church or a missionary.

So, a woman from South America came up with a good one. If being a little god is about walth, how could she show she’s holier than everyone else, and we should give her money?

Ah. Gold. Gold dust.

So she made the rounds at Charismatic churches, making appearances, where gold dust fell from her hair every Sunday or Wednesday.

Really.

You know, Aqua Net is amazing. Simply style your hair, sprinkle gold glitter in your hair, layer on Aqua Net on your head to the point your hair is crunchy, and there you go.

Wow. Easy. Impress your friends. The gold glitter stays stuck to your hair and scalp until you run your fingers through your hair, and dislodge it.

Everyone after that was exhibiting gold glitter on their cheeks, lips, eyes, nose, and or elbows after that.

“How?”

Um.. anything sticky. like lip gloss smeared on a hankerchief. Apply glitter and keep in left pocket. Have your regular hankercheif in your right. Wipe your forehead and face several times with the clean hankerchief to accustom people to it, then at a strategic point in the service… WHAMMO! “I”ve been anointed by the LORD!!!”

I feel like I could make a fortune going through these churches, selling oceanfront property in Kansas.

Gold glitter, flying up into the air. What is this supposed to be? The glory of God.

Um… no. Let’s start with all the reasons why this is wrong.

First, I’ll tell you how to do it. There’s all kinds of remote control mechanisms now, for airplanes, and even robot building. THere’s a hobby shop five miles from me that sells parts to build a robot. I’m sure my sisters are still amazed I’ve never built one.

Boxes that open by remove control – you just need a reciever mounted to a servo, and attach that to a box that opens. Easy. I could buiuld you a dozen for $200.

Fill them with gold glitter and hide them in the ventilation system, and have a bunch of fans pointed up to the ceiling.

At the strategic point in your service, hit the switch and open the boxes. THe glitter comes out, and is kept dancing in the air by the fans.

Here’s where you really missed out. Should have gotten a Mist maker. Really easy. It’s a detergent poured into it, and it would create a cloud of translucent mist in the air. Now you’d have had dancing glitter and a wall of something heavy looking. There you go, $10,000 in tithes and offerings for $300 of parts, maybe $200 more for the mist maker.

THe people in the church were cheering the same way they’d do if Devo reunited, flower pot hats and all. “It’s the Glory of God!!!”

John MacArthur summed it up with some impatience, explaining the Biblical Ignorance of the congregation who saw it. “If that really was the Glory of God, all of the people in that building would be dead.”

“And he said, I beseech thee, shew me thy glory.” (Exodus 33:18, KJV)

“And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live.” (Exodus 33:20, KJV)

God has to protect you, and limit the glimpse of His glory, so that you don’t die. THe apostles saw a hint of the glory of Jesus Christ and they collapsed.

To see God in all His glory would kill everyone in the building, and probably wouldn’t do the building any good either. Think of putting a nail in a 220 volt plug. “BANG!”

Justin Peters is completely right. The Word Faith movement is throwing around Biblical words removed from their Biblical context, without any understanding of it’s meaning whatsoever.

There was a film clip shown of a praise band singing “send down fire” or “Call down fire”, whichever it was. “Lord, send down fire, now…”

Did it occur to anyone that what they werte singing so intently, eyes closed and hands raised, was…” Lord, judge us and kill us… now…”

Honestly. I mean, E-Sword is free. Logos 7 is free with some modern translation, and only $9.99 for the King James. I’m sure there was a Bible or two in that church.

Didn’t anyone pause to look up and see the context of “call down fire” or “Send fire”?

“And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?” (Luke 9:54, KJV)

Yeah. A simple reading of the Gospels show there is no good reference to fire. Fire injures, burns and kills. the only remotely good refernce to fire is for cooking fish… but it’s not really doing the fish any good.

The baptism of fire that John referred to was “baptism of the Holy Ghost and Fire.” A Baptism of fire is not good. You get one or the other. Charismatics teach that too. except they’re missing out it’s one or the other.

You get baptized with the Holy Ghost… or it’s a baptism of fire.

“But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance: And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham. And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire: Whose fan is in his hand, and he will throughly purge his floor, and gather his wheat into the garner; but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.” (Matthew 3:7–12, KJV)

So when rodney Howard-Browne is hitting you in the chest and bellowing “FIRE!!!!!”, he’s essentially shouting, “HELL!!!!”

I wonder if he’d keep doing that, if he knew?

Yes, he would. Rodney Howard-Browne is evil. Knowingly evil. He once chastised a woman who kept oraying, “jesus, Jesus, Jesus…” with a shout of, “Stop praying! If praying could have gotten you what you wanted, you wouldn’t be here!”

Well, yeah, from his viewpoint, he’s right. but his issue was, he didn’t want the name of Jesus Christ being uttered while he was hitting people with his whammy.

Tomorrow I’m going to reveal how to slay someone in the spirit. Yessir, your own Word Faith ministry is about to break free!

Send me money.

(okay, don’t – but it was extremely funny for me to say that, as it sums up all of these wolves)

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Author: philipdean2013

Seminary graduate with a Ba. in Theology/Pastoral Studies, Happily married, Independent Baptist. I can't keep silent about what I see going on in Christianity any longer! Apostasy reigns around us, churches are sliding into worldiness, a whitewashed Gospel is preached everywhere... "Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein. Jeremiah 6:16 (KJV) So, I'm speaking out. ...Why aren't you???

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